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Fact: Guinea Pigs are not pets. Fact: Cats are pets. Fact: I have two awesome cats.

The first, and older, cat is Airplane. He is an interesting character. First of all, his name should probably be Jumbo Jet, as he has grown to be a rather rotund gentleman.

He is really shy, and usually only comes out from his favorite hiding spot under the bed when only his mom and I are home. And by mom I mean female human co-owner, Natalie. When he does come out, it’s usually just to eat and then retreat to his hiding place, but sometimes we are lucky enough to have him join us long enough to enjoy an episode of How I Met Your Mother.

Some time ago, Natalie and I decided that we needed a coffee table for our apartment. While out shopping, we happened upon a pet store and found the most adorable and tiny kitten. When I asked to hold her, the owner of the store told us that she was an extremely nasty cat, and that no one had had any luck holding her. I, being stubborn and persistent, finally convinced her to let me hold the kitten, who we learned was not a kitten at all, but a one-year-old baby-mama. Well, as soon as the cage door opened, the feared but tiny animal crept slowly into my lap and curled up in the cutest ball in the history of balled-up animals. The pet store owner BEGGED us to take her home, and we weren’t about to argue. We had decided that a precious little friend might help Airplane come out of his shell a bit. We had no idea what we were in for.

At first, Polka Dot, named for her remarkable size, or lack thereof, was very meek, and slept through most the day.

However, it wasn’t long before she and Airplane became friends, playing with toys together and chasing each other around the apartment. In recent months, Polka Dot has, I believe, discovered how adorable she is, and decided to use it to her advantage. She has become ridiculously feisty.

Despite her sassy little attitude and constant need for attention, you just can’t stay mad at something so little and cute. Interesting side note: Polka Dot LOVES tomato-based products. I’ve read that tomatoes can be extremely poisonous for cats, but that doesn’t seem to bother her when it comes to diving face-first into bowls of salsa, pasta sauce, and ketchup. She’s an oddball alright, but we sure do love her. Most of the time, anyway.

One cool thing about being on tour is meeting the pets in all the houses we stay in. We love our own pets, too, and we’re now going to tell you about them in an epic three part series!

Part 1 - Danny’s Pigs
I have two guinea pigs. Their names are Harvey and Falafel.

Guinea Pigs fulfill a very important roll in the wild known as “snacks”. They don’t have any means for fighting back against predators, so their major defenses are being scared, running, hiding, and generally being little bastards.
My pigs are no exception.
One thing Guinea Pigs need is time to run around out of their cage to get exercise. They love their so-called “out time”, because it means they get lots of treats. They know the sounds of their out time being set up, and they start squeaking excitedly when they hear it. They even come out of their hiding places to be picked up. That’s where their impressive deductive reasoning ends, though, because the moment I start to reach in to pick them up, they all of a sudden become 90% sure that a hawk has made its way into the apartment, and is now swooping in to eat them. They run away, and I have to trip all over myself to catch them so that they can play.

Falafel is the dominant pig of the pair, but he is also the most skittish.

Harvey is the runt, but is just a BIT smarter than his buddy, so he manages to get into more mischief.

Guinea Pigs are good for apartment living since they’re small and pretty easy to care for. They’re not brilliant, but they are pretty darn cute.

No argument from me…

As some of you know, we are all big Beatles fans, though Colin may be the biggest fan of all. So you’ll see in this video that I found of a wee Colin McBride in his early days as a budding musician/Beatles aficionado:

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Speaking of anxiously awaiting awesomeness, I have been looking forward to Momofuku,the new Elvis Costello and the Imposters record that was released today. The record was only announced about a month ago, and I have been giddy about it ever since, despite minimal information. The one thing that I had heard was that it was to be a vinyl-only release. As it turns out, the vinyl was released today, but will be followed up with a CD on May 6.

Anyway, I spent my working day getting more and more anxious to get off work and go buy it. I even called Sonic Boom and asked them to set a copy aside for me. I rushed up after work, and was amazed to find that they had set aside an autographed copy of the record for me. Awesome.

I am half way through my second listen today. So good! You can read all about it here.

When the weather gets warm most people go to the park, the beach, or an outdoor mall. I go to the movie theater and hide in my room. When I’m not busy with the band or an obligation, like work, these are the things that will be hanging out with me. As soon as they are available. I have my calendar marked.

1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - May 22!
2. Star Wars: The Clone Wars - August 15th
3. The Dark Knight - July 18th
4. Weezer - June 24th
5. Death Cab For Cutie “Narrow Stairs” - May 13th
6. Batman: Gotham Knight - July 8th
7. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed - September 16th
8. James Ellroy: Blood’s a Rover - TBA
9. Lego Indiana Jones - Summer
10. The Dark Tower: The Long Road Home - TBA

What about you?

I got into Nick Lowe some time ago, via my love for Elvis Costello (Lowe produced My Aim is True, This Year’s Model, and Armed Forces, and wrote “(What’s so Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love, and Understanding”). I have always liked Nick Lowe, but I recently fell madly in love with him.

I was listening to the jPod on shuffle, when “So it Goes”, from his debut album,Jesus of Cool, came on. That song is absolutely awesome! I’ve been listening to it over and over for the last few days, and I even recorded a cover of it. So good! Check it out. The rest of the record is great, too. “I Love the Sound of Breaking Glass” and “Heart of the City” are among my favorites.

The album was originally released 30 years ago, but was just re-released. I suggest you rush to your nearest local record store and get a copy. If you don’t believe me, check out Pitchfork’s 9.3/10 review. You have to believe Pitchfork. It’s the law.

So, as you can imagine, the three of us have many jokes amongst ourselves. We try to bring others in sometimes, but usually they don’t really get it. I guess it’s to be expected. Nearly every single one of these jokes are wildly inappropriate, and should never be spoken ever. Most of them have to do with me.

One of the less offensive ones is that I am exactly like George Costanza from Seinfeld.

I do not agree.

Wikipedia notes that “He has variously been described as a ’short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man’ (by Elaine Benes and by Costanza himself), ‘Lord of the Idiots’ (by Costanza himself), and as ‘the greatest sitcom character of all time’”.

Let’s tackle these three statements individually.

Regarding the first statement - I am short. That is fact. Whereas subjective, it is true that I am on the upper end of average woman height, which means I’m a bit below average guy height. I will not argue that. Am I stocky? I’m not really skinny… Am I slow-witted? Uhhhhhh… I’ll have to think about that one… There is one thing I’m not, however, and that’s bald. I have lots of hair on my head. There is no way anyone could call me bald.

George Costanza comparison #1 = BUSTED!

“Lord of the Idiots” is a grand statement.. I mean, I’ve done stupid things. This one time, I text messaged Jasen to ask him if Specialty’s (the company for which he works) had cakes. He replied “birthday cakes”. It didn’t really help me, so I dismissed his answer. The next day, I realized that that was his way of trying to remind me that it was his birthday. I missed the hint, and hence, forgot to call him on his birthday. That was pretty idiotic of me. However, no matter how many dumb things I do, there are plenty of people less intelligent than me.

Idiot? Maybe. LORD of the Idiots? I think not.

George Costanza comparison #2 = BUSTED!

As to the third statement, “The Greatest Sitcom Character of All Time”, my response is a complicated one. The obvious challenge is that I have never been on a sitcom. HOWEVER. When I was little, some kids thought I looked like Fred Savage.

Well… maybe not so much. BUT - if I were on a sitcom, I would probably be the greatest sitcom character of all time. However, without actually being on a sitcom…

George Costanza comparison #3 = BUSTED!

So, as you can see, mathematically, there is no way I can be like like George Costanza.

WIN!

Alright, guys, help me out. How else am I not like George Costanza?

We got pictures from KEXP! David Frank took some awesome pictures of us playing live at KEXP! Check them out!